According to the BMI scales, as inaccurate as they may be, I am obese. Coupled with the fact that I am also an emotional eater and advocate for all things ‘treat yourself’, to many, I may seem like the least likely person to commit to a fitness journey.
I came into 2023, with a ‘new year, new me’ mentality. Unlike previous years, I set myself clearly defined goals to lose my generous FUPA and rounded frame. As I neared the middle of my 20s, weight loss, now more than ever, felt like a race. I was trying, tirelessly, to beat my biological clock to slim down my waistline before the rumoured second puberty hit and my metabolism slowed down to a point of no return. Admittedly, I had placed immense pressure on myself around losing weight and I was willing to try pretty much anything to make it happen. Ozempic and bariatric surgery felt like extreme but tempting options, which I had seen a number of celebrities find success with. I eventually opted against it, in the hope of giving myself a final chance of slimming down with just my willpower.
I tried a few things to lose the weight
Actually, I tried a lot. Slimming shakes, smoothies, intermittent fasting, a daily 10,000-step walk and a short-lived effort to attend the gym five days a week. Each method, researched through Google, all promising results within little to no time. Each method, approached with confidence and assurance, was followed by defeat after a few weeks as I failed to see any difference in my appearance and the scales.
I grew frustrated with the scales and all their stubbornness. I would undress every layer, down to my socks, to watch the dials of the scales swing in my favour. I even used a measuring tape to check if the inches were dropping from my waistline and my weight was just slow to catch up. This too was unsuccessful. I blamed muscle gain, bloating and water weight to explain my hopeless weight loss journey. One by one, I decided to do away with my weight loss tactics, defeated and now pretty sure that not even Dr. Now, from my 600lb life, could shift the fat.
One habit, however, did and has continued to stick
I found comfort in my daily walks. Working a job that required me to be seated for most of the day, had meant that in the past, my movement has not been my main priority. I set myself a goal at the end of 2022, to walk a minimum of 10,000 steps a day, prior to this, I was barely moving from my work desk and would be put off easily by the miserable British weather and short days, using them as reasons to stay curled up watching Netflix in the evenings.
I have always taken pride in my work and this can sometimes be to my own detriment, working all hours to ensure that I deliver quality in all that I do. In doing so, I have been known to put aside my own needs and personal time, to meet the high standards I had set for myself. My daily walks allowed me to take hold of my work-life balance. Though it is something I am still working on, I have been able to take a step back from my desk and take daily time out for my own well-being. My daily walking has been an opportunity to reclaim my time as my own.
This was the first time in a long time, that I had seen myself practice discipline when it came to my health. There was no excuse I could give myself, that seemed to deter me from completing those steps daily; I would go as far as to march on the spot, moments to midnight, ensuring that each step would successfully be taken. It became a source of accomplishment for me. Even if I was having a down day, or beating myself up for not achieving everything on my to-do list, I would always end the day knowing that each one of my 10,000 steps was accounted for. This brought out a sense of pride and commitment I had not seen in myself. For once, it seemed I was able to show up consistently for myself and by myself. Yes, I was proud of myself and it felt good.
I hit my stumbling block with my steps around mid-March 2023
Stepping on the scales, I felt a heat rise through me, as anger ate me up, realising that my consistent stepping efforts had resulted in my body weight remaining exactly the same. I had done everything that was required of me: I showed up consistently, I was dedicated, I had worked hard at this. Yet somehow, it felt like it was all in vain. Then, I surprised myself. Instead of giving up, I instead chose to use my evening walk as an emotional release. It was at this moment, that I realised that walking had become much more than a weight loss endeavour, but was also a mental relief for me.
My second stumbling block, which tripped me up in early May, felt more painful. After an exhausting working day and a short illness, my body felt weak and in a bid to recover itself, I found myself dozing off early for the night. It was not until the next morning that I realised that after five long months, I had finally failed to reach my target of 10,000 steps a day. I had let myself down, I told myself. For much of the year, I carried my 10,000 steps with me like a trophy. If I achieved nothing that day, at least, at a minimum, I had that. Upset, I plugged in my headphones, turned on my audiobook and took another walk that evening. You see, walking had become a habit deeply ingrained into my routine. I’d started my walking journey in a bid to improve my physical health and if my body was screaming at me to rest, how could I ignore it? At this point, it was no longer about the numbers.
My daily walking has become a way of living for me. It’s a small change for some but for people like me, who have neglected their health in the past in more ways than one, walking has been a way that I have been able to shift my weight loss journey to a health journey.
I do wonder how long I will keep up my daily walking. Though it has become a habit, life happens and anything could throw a curveball in my now-embedded routine, I’ve already faced a few stumbling blocks. It has also crossed my mind that writing this, for anyone to see, is an added pressure to keep continuing. However, I have assured myself that my health journey is very much that: mine. Walking has been a transformative process for me, the number of which I have chosen to take daily, really is not the important part, but rather the mental growth that has come with it.
Find more self-improvement articles here >
Written by T O Oshodi
Illustrated by Francesca Mariama
