Feeling lost after graduating from university: Advice on how to prepare

Are you feeling lost after graduating from university?

‘University is supposed to be the best time of your life’. A cliché statement, yes. True? I was unsure. According to a survey at Leeds Beckett University, 65% of people who left university at least 10 years ago still rate it as the best time of their lives so far.  

I couldn’t ignore the tinge of sorrow I felt after reading that as by our early twenties we have supposedly reached the top of the roller coaster that is called life. So, are we to only expect a series of spirals, occasional twists and turns but ultimately a downhill journey from here on in?

All the tears, all the laughter, all the stupid mistakes and drunken nights dancing the night away had all finally come to an end. The party was over and I didn’t know how to clean up the mess. 

Similar to an impending hangover, reality soon came crashing down. Like the vast majority of students, I lived away from home during my time at university. I had to return back to a city where I felt I no longer belonged. I reluctantly distanced myself from friends and my now ex-boyfriend; leaving behind the life that I had started to carve out for myself. I traded new-found independence, power and responsibility, for living under my parent’s roof and rules, with a mountain of debt. 

Back to square one. 

For those of us that do go straight into university, we spend a minimum of sixteen years in education. I mindlessly followed the blueprint that society had set out; school, college, university. So naturally I continued my journey into adulthood: finding a job but instead, I found myself in a place of limbo – I was feeling lost after graduating from university.

The sensation of self-doubt and hopelessness soon washed over me as I realised I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, where I wanted to go and was feeling the immense pressure of sorting out my life. Drowning, sinking deeper. They call this the ‘graduate blues’. 

I was warned that this may happen. Unsurprisingly, 49% of students surveyed by the City Mental Health Alliance admitted their mental well-being declined after leaving. I have friends who had graduated the year prior who found themselves in the same situation. Depressed, confused and lost. 

It didn’t help that according to my university “Brunel graduates are among the most employable in the country, with 94% in a job or further study six months after leaving the university.” So, if I wasn’t a part of this clique, I was already failing at life in spite of not exactly knowing what I was trying to achieve.

These statistics can be damaging as they don’t note what employment graduates are actually in. Leaving university with a good grade and a degree doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll immediately find a well-paid job graduate job. The harsh reality is that many of us find ourselves in jobs that we are now overqualified for and therefore, feel underpaid. We don’t practice patience as we fear we are falling behind. The world keeps spinning whilst we feel our lives spiralling out of control. There is no pause button but there are steps you can make during this difficult transition to not only better but find yourself and avoid feeling lost after graduating from university. 

Don’t compare yourself to others

Jessica who never showed up to lectures and did the bare minimum has managed to bag herself a job at a great company. You’re left feeling dejected and jealous. Stop. Stop comparing yourself to others. It’s a waste of time and energy. People only show what they want others to see on social media. Instagram is not real life. Focus on you. 

Start from the bottom

Reality check. The job market has got even more competitive so do not stress about not immediately finding your dream job. You’ll most likely start at an entry-level job and work your way up the career ladder. Be patient.

Know your worth

Although you’re desperate to get a job, you need to know your worth. Don’t sell yourself short because you really want that job. Do your research. If you have internships or relevant work experience, don’t be afraid to bring it to light. If you don’t, broaden your horizon, experience new things and see where they take you. It’s good to have a part time job to make cash but don’t limit yourself. Do not settle. 

Think it through and start scripting your future 

Make a plan and write down where you would like to see yourself in the future. By that I do not mean the immediate future, I mean the distant future. What steps do you need to take in order to achieve this? Break down your steps into easy achievable mini goals. Never forget about your happiness so if you need a break, live your best life! Most importantly, don’t panic, if you have no clue, explore the world and live a little. It’ll all come together eventually. 

Reinvent yourself

With any major transition in our lives such as moving on from secondary school to university or moving to a new city, people reinvent themselves. For graduates, the time following graduation is a great time for reinvention. Take control of your life and ask yourself; who am I? How do I see myself? How do I want others to see me? What is my ideal authentic self? I personally listed all my strengths and areas I thought needed improving in my life and adjusted my behaviour and habits to align myself with my new goals. 

Have a support system

The time after graduation is especially hard. This is when having a good support system is crucial. Reach out to family and friends for support and advice when you are struggling or feel overwhelmed.  

Trust me. Your best years are not behind you. I have realised that my journey has just begun. You’ll figure it out – it’s frightening yet exciting. I decide where to go from here. You do too. 

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Written by Amelia Benjamin

Illustrated by Josh Agamlong