At the beginning of each year, my girls and I pick a word to meditate on. Words such as ‘health’, ‘bravery’ or ‘faithfulness’. This year, I decided to be bold. I decided to select a word that would push me out of my comfort zone. A word that would propel me into territory that would force me to be re-shaped. A word that would challenge me as a person. That word is refinement.
To be refined is to be without impurities, to evolve and be developed. It can be described as being made new, eliminating the pollution that infiltrates your mental, physical and emotional well-being. As the year progresses, I find myself questioning “now, why in the world did I pick this word?” But, my answer is always the same. I am ready to enter a new territory where I am stretched beyond measure and sculpted in a way that would mould me into the woman I hope to become.
And that is to be refined.
The process
I was constantly asking myself, “what is refinement supposed to look like? And, how do I implement this into my daily life?” I wondered how I would reach this idea that I had created in my head until I came to the realisation that refinement isn’t a quick fix. It’s a process.
When gold is refined, it can take anywhere between one to five years. As impurities are being extracted, it looks unattractive and may not seem worthwhile. However, the outcome is always a masterpiece. Now, we all know that as people, being without impurities and daily struggles is not a reality. Those very moments can either break us or drive us further into our season of refinement. But I am sure we all would rather let those experiences refine us. How can we achieve this though?
By starting small.
Where is my energy going?
As I have been on this journey for a few months, I have learned one important lesson that has significantly improved my mood, thought process and time.
People always say to invest time in yourself. Put all your energy into you. Although you should, can I argue that when you also serve others, it becomes a blessing to you too? Intentionally going out of your way to serve someone else can and will improve your mental health.
Studies have shown that when you help others, it can significantly reduce stress, as well as improve your mood, self-esteem and happiness. Giving some of your energy to others does not require lots of time or money. But making it a point to acknowledge someone’s presence and see their struggle can be a life-saver. In turn, it will also be a gift to you. The energy you expend will go to someone in need.
A lot of my energy during this journey has gone into approaching obstacles that I would usually run from. The saying ‘do something that scares you’ is so common, but to actually act upon it is something entirely different. However, when you perform something that is so out of the norm for you, your mindset changes. Not in the sense of I failed, or I succeeded, but instead, I am able to act on it. Use your energy to confront your demons instead of running away from them.
To be refined has many aspects and possibilities. It requires uncomfortable growth and ugly encounters but the final product is a masterpiece. You may not get there within a month, a year or even a few years. But, the journey is just as important as the destination.
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Written by Kendra Anderson
Illustrated by Francesca Mariama
