Hey, hi – welcome to the side of my brain that so intensely convinces me that life sucks. As in: Everything is bad, there’s no hope here, the future is bleak and humans are ‘ew’.
Within an instant, the ounce of positive mental attitude I worked so hard to possess is swept away by one loud negative thought that spirals and overwhelms everything. If you’re an overthinker, this might just be relatable.
I used to be an avid Tumblr user but not so much these days. However, sometime last year I came across a post which basically listed reasons why life isn’t all doom and gloom. In that moment, where I was focused on silently hating everything, that list shone a gentle light on me. I appreciated it because I was reminded of things that I didn’t often consider when my mind gets stuck in that place.
So, I’ve decided to shortlist some of the things I resonated with the most and that I often go back to. Just a quick disclaimer – this is by no means an exhaustive list and there is truly no pressure to agree with any of the reasons.
1. People do care
In the last year especially, one recurring thing that I’ve seen or heard people question on socials and in real life is whether people actually care about them. Communicating feels so much harder, most people are bored of walks and no-one seems to be asking you if you’re okay anymore. Simply put, it’s just a lot. Every week feels like there is something else to go through as a community and we’re all exhausted.
I think the fact we’re dealing with a situation we’ve never been in before has spun us all. So, we should probably keep this in mind and give more grace to the people around us and ourselves when it comes to dealing with each other. In saying this, however, it’s still key to have people in your circle who make you feel seen and heard. Finding this balance seems tricky at the moment? I’m interested to see how relationships change as we ease out of lockdown #FreeUs.
2. Laughing until you cry
Undoubtedly, this is one of the best feelings in the world. If you’ve never laughed until you’ve cried, you need to! Funnily enough, I can’t actually recall the last time this happened to me but I’m 100% manifesting this one into my life ASAP. How is it that something can be so funny that you’re crying, you can’t breathe and your abs are in pain but you’re actually super happy? Incredible scenes.
3. Cuddles
That’s it. That’s the reason. (The original list actually says ‘cuddles under the stars’ which is beautiful because who doesn’t love stars? But honestly cuddles with nothing else added earn their place on this list.)
4. Being able to hear your favourite artist’s voice
Personally, I can’t pick one favourite, I have a few! This reason hits very deep for me because I love music so much, sometimes I literally sit down and wonder how something so great can exist. The voices of many have lifted my spirit, sang me to sleep, cradled me while I cried, hugged me when I felt alone, been a friend when mine felt far off, and of course, soundtracked my many one-man dance parties and concerts. Shout out to the amazing producers too, I appreciate you!
Then, when I chuck in the possibility of seeing my favourite artists’ live (especially after so long) there’s a whole new level of excitement and community that comes with them. I really don’t know how to explain the feeling but you know when you hear something so good it makes your head tingle and it feels like your head is filled with air? Yeah – only music has this effect on me.
5. The ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy
To be honest, this sounds very obvious but I’ve had to sit down and really think about it. We all come with different dispositions but an integral and common factor to being human is our emotions. Sometimes when I feel consumed by sadness, it feels like it’s the only emotion I’m capable of feeling when I know this isn’t true. I find this Pip Millet lyric very relatable: ‘In the depth of my sadness, I can’t wait to reach that high’. (Again, this is why I love music!!!). I find comfort in reminding myself that I also have the potential to be happy, feeling low isn’t innate, and that my soul can and will reach new undiscovered heights.
6. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN
I find it hard to use my imagination positively at times, so this reason is something I don’t think of in an encouraging way. Life is full of possibilities, we know that nothing ever stays the same, it just doesn’t happen. For me, the world presents itself as unpredictable yet divinely ordered, and to be honest, it’s probably a world I’ll never understand. Whether you believe in God, the universe or nothing at all, literally none of us seem to be in the same position as we were a year ago and there are changes you didn’t see coming.
Physical and mental cycles are, however, very real but even within those, there are still nuances because we are all everchanging. I’m challenging myself to recognise the true beauty in the fact that ‘anything can happen’. Big or small. I try to remind myself that ‘anything’ doesn’t translate to ‘anything bad’. In fact it could mean ‘anything new, ‘anything amazing’, ‘anything magical’, ‘anything that makes me keep going’. To an extent, we can mould what our ‘anything’ looks like too.
I hope this got you thinking a little and I’m grateful for the time you took to share in the confusion of matter that is known as my mind. In my own mental health journey, I’ve learnt that accepting my feelings is the first step to processing them. You can’t change your mindset or your life without acknowledging where you’re currently at. So here’s to discovering (and actually believing) more reasons as to why life doesn’t actually suck.
Find more lifestyle articles here >
Written by Lola Ogunbiyi
Illustrated by Francesca Mariama
This is such good vibes <3