Is there something you have said or done that you often find yourself cringing over? Many of us have made mistakes that we feel bad about, be it big boo-boos at work or saying something you shouldn’t to your partner.
Maybe you have hurt someone so are riddled with feelings of guilt and shame. Did you know that guilt and shame can lead to stress, which not only affects your mental health but can contribute to physical problems such as high blood pressure? If you are experiencing the unpleasant symptoms of stress, it is crucial to seek medical advice.
However, one way you can help yourself is by getting to the root of what is making you stressed. If you realise it’s because you are feeling guilty about a poor action you have taken, learning to forgive yourself can be freeing and help you move forward, improving your overall mental and physical well-being. Here are five steps to practice self-forgiveness and repair the damage created.
Step one: Be accountable for your actions
Before you forgive yourself and move on, you need to take responsibility for your mistake/s. Understand that maybe you were younger when it happened and didn’t know any better or were possibly dealing with something tough. It can be empowering to accept your faults and stop trying to pin the blame on others. Take it as a learning experience, no one is perfect and the way we get better is by accepting and learning from our slip-ups.
Step two: Own your negative feelings
Understand that negative emotions are valid feelings but that it is time to make room for more positive ones. Focusing on the positive is far more productive than dwelling on unpleasant memories. Write down the situation, the actions you took that you regret and what you can do in the future to avoid a similar situation. Going through what happened can help to bring clarity and self-awareness. Take note of how your actions have made people feel – this can help us empathise with those we have wronged.
Step three: Apologise if you need to
Simply saying sorry for that unpleasant comment you should not have made can take some weight off your shoulders. To forgive ourselves and move forward, we must first attempt to mend our broken relationships.
Step four: Write down positive things about yourself
When you feel wrong about something, it can spiral into focusing on everything you find negative about yourself. To move forward, it helps to remember the good things about ourselves. While you have made some blunders throughout the years, you have also made plenty of positive actions, and that is something to celebrate. For more on positivity, check out our article – keep that same energy: be and attract positivity.
Step five: Try mindfulness techniques
Living in the past or worrying too much about the future is mentally draining and physically taxing. When you are at a point where you want to forgive yourself for your mistakes or work on your ability to forgive, one of the best things you can do is focus on the present day. For some ideas on practising mindfulness, read these exercises and tips from Mind.
In conclusion, remember you are not a bad person and that a little blunder does not define who you are. The fact that you are reading this and looking to atone your misguided actions shows you are on the right track to self-improvement. Always remember to take care of yourself too. You’ve got this!
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Written by Eliza Allen
Illustrated by Francesca Mariama
