In less than two weeks, I’ll be the big 25. And I don’t know if I’m sad or excited about it. On one hand, I’m ready to rule the world and take on whatever the universe has planned for me. But on the other hand, I’m worried about whether I’ve grown enough as a person to qualify as a well-rounded 25-year-old. This week, I’ve been very reflective about my goals and aspirations. I’ve come to a place where I can pinpoint what is hindering my personal growth, which I’ll share in more depth below.
1. A weak social circle
Friends were a weird concept to grasp when I was young, especially since I had a close-knit family. I only needed friends for superficial outings, such as cinema dates. But as I age, I’ve realised how having a strong set of friends in my social circle can be beneficial.
This may sound a little self-centred, as if I’m using the people around me, but I aim to be as beneficial to others as they are to me. Not to say I give if given, but to proclaim how much I adore the people in my life and respect the fact that they have chosen to stick by my side. My friends aren’t for financial aid or to stroke my ego, but to uplift and support me as I grow. My social circle isn’t big – but it’s perfect for me. I know or at least hope, that the people around me have my best intentions at heart.
There are times when I feel very down in the dumps, at my lowest, numb, but thankfully they’ve pulled me out of that state.
2. Comparing myself to others
I’m a very new Instagram user so it amazed me when I was told I shouldn’t compare myself to others.
Me? – I thought. But how?
I didn’t have the ability to scroll through the timeline and see beautifully sculpted women. So how was I able to compare myself?
With glossy job descriptions and a list of accolades.
Although I wasn’t on Instagram, I was on LinkedIn religiously. I would sit for hours applying for jobs and snoop around to see where everyone was in life. The ‘Class of 2018’ was a regular snoop for me as I browsed through my ex-classmates fancy job titles. Envy is horrible, nearly as bad as jealousy, but I can be honest and admit that it was a feeling I held.
I now understand it was my enemy of progress. The longer I sat thinking about what I wished I could have done, the more I realised I should have been preparing to enter those spaces. Comparison is horrible. It tore me up at certain points in my life, but it’s one I continuously try to work through.
3. Bad money management
When you hear someone speak about bad money management, you automatically think of the overspending, the non-saver, and the person who lives paycheck to paycheck. I used to hold my head up high because I lived such a frugal life. Saving the majority of my paycheck, living on basic crumbs and dabbling in activities that could potentially grow my peanuts.
But it was getting to the point where I wasn’t living. I was avoiding all social activities and self-care rituals just to save a buck or two. It was affecting my personal growth as I wasn’t able to learn new things, see new people or take care of my physical and emotional needs.
I’m still a big advocate of saving money, but I’m an even bigger advocate of investing in yourself. Even if this means a shopping splurge every once in a while.
4. Undersleeping
This is an aspect I’m still struggling with as I type.
My living situation has recently changed, which has affected my sleep pattern. I’ve always had good sleep, being able to fit in seven to eight hours a night. But recently, my mind has been waking me up every hour on the hour. It’s left me feeling irritable and fatigued throughout the day. I was stressed and restless, a true recipe for disaster.
Sleep is keeping me from my personal growth, but I guess the first step is admitting the issue, so I’m halfway there.
5. Not drinking enough water
Any fitness guru will rage on about how important water is to the body. It aids digestion, helps to carry nutrients and oxygen to your cells and protect organs and tissues, amongst other things. I’m an advocate of drinking at least two litres a day but this habit has subsided recently and I’m feeling the repercussions.
Due to dehydration, I had an intense migraine for over a week. My mind felt foggy and I was unable to get anything done. Drinking water aids my personal growth as it keeps my mind and body fresh.
6. Negative self-talk
I’ve come to realise I have to be my biggest cheerleader to get anywhere in life. I read a book called ‘Talk Sense to Yourself: Language and Personal Power’, which explains how negative self-talk can become a major hindrance in life. I’ve noticed the words I use, the beliefs I hold, and the actions I take are all connected.
For example, I can be self-deprecating when speaking about my appearance. At first, I would make jokes about body parts I didn’t like, but it got to a point where my words were deepening the belief until I grew a hatred of what I looked like.
I’ve purposely tried to speak positively about myself both internally and externally. I know that my change in language has boosted my self-esteem and made me feel more confident as a result.
7. Waiting for the perfect time to follow my dreams
As I stated before, I’m turning 25 and to celebrate, I’ve launched a Youtube channel. I’ve wanted to launch once since I was 13 and since then have prioritised losing a few extra pounds, saving for the best equipment, and becoming skilled enough to create thumbnails and banners. But looking back, I’d actually ‘wasted’ over 10 years of possible content due to the fear of the unknown.
In my head, I was waiting for the perfect moment.
It got to a point in my life when I had to throw myself into the deep end and just go for it. Which I’m very thankful for as I recently celebrated my first 50 subscribers. This may not be much to some, but it’s a big milestone for me, seeing as this channel was 10 years in the making.
So here you see the seven worst habits I was holding onto that were hindering my personal growth. Some have been eradicated from my life but there are a few I am still working on. Personal growth is a subject I’m very much invested in. There isn’t a day that goes by where I’m not thinking about my growth and how I can evolve as a person.
If you have any tips to help me on my journey or share the same issues I am facing, DM @NakishaTalbot on Instagram. Thank you for taking the time to read through my blog post.
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Written by Nakisha Talbot
Illustrated by Francesca Mariama
