What cancer taught me: Seven lessons I learnt from having and beating cancer

 Of all the life experiences in the world to have, cancer was the last thing I expected to happen to me.

I’ve always been fit and active in spite of my not so stellar healthy past that included a history of smoking and drinking, which I quit over two years ago. So, when I received the diagnosis from doctors that I had stage three Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in August 2021, I was shocked and very scared. 

Fast forward to February 2022, as I come close to the end of over six months of very effective treatment, I am proud of how far I’ve come in recovery and choose to dwell on the lessons I have learnt so that others can be encouraged to make better choices than I did in my younger years. Cancer treatment is very intensive and sometimes I felt like all 35 years of my life was flashing before my very eyes. In those moments, I was forced to take stock of almost every area of my life and learnt seven vital life lessons: 

1. Self-love

Pre-cancer I would say I wasn’t really into an intensive skin and nail care routine. I stuck to the basics because I felt naturally endowed with very little need to break the bank on my looks. With the side effects of chemotherapy causing dry skin and brittle, dark nails, I had to start paying more attention to my appearance to ensure my confidence didn’t get run down in the process. 

I began taking vitamins and supplements, and tried to eat healthier but if this had already been a part of my lifestyle, I wouldn’t have felt like I was trying to beat time since my body would have adjusted to the change a lot more naturally. I also don’t think I really knew what rest was or how great it felt until I was in the midst of recuperating from various chemotherapy treatments. Whether you take naps, watch silly TV or do something that lets you switch off completely, rest rocks! 

2. Gratitude

A lot of us take good health for granted. I know I did. It wasn’t until I started to suffer from terrible nausea, sickness and weakness, which made it feel impossible to get up most mornings, that I realised how much of a blessing good health is. Now that I know, I can hardly wait for when I can start actively exercising again. I’ll also be more supportive towards those around me who don’t feel good. 

Gratitude is so powerful! Find and recognise something or someone you are grateful for each and every day. I am grateful for my family, the NHS especially St James University Teaching Hospital in Leeds, Maggie’s Yorkshire, The Swan Song Project, Look Better Feel Better, Leeds Cancer Support and Macmillan Cancer Support for the tremendous support I received during this trying journey.

3. People

I am blessed to have supportive friends and family but sometimes I felt that they didn’t understand what I was going through enough, based on certain comments that were made and attitudes shown. However, in retrospect, when I look back, I put myself in their shoes and them in mine and realise my response to them would not have been much different to what I was receiving.

Having cancer taught me what not to say to a sick person and why listening can be the best gift you can ever give to anyone going through a hard time, especially in the area of their health. It’s always better to listen to understand another person instead of listening to respond to them. 

4. Money

Cancer treatment costs a lot of money in most countries. I am blessed to have received mine in the UK and am so grateful for the NHS. NHS workers are superheroes and we do not appreciate them nearly enough. Other personal care aside initial cancer treatment costs money so if you do not have the funds, it can be incredibly costly.

5. Time

None of us has as much time as we think we do and nothing reminds you of that more than a close shave with cancer. Very quickly, I realised I had not achieved half the goals I had hoped to in my life and so began to keep an account of how I spend my days.

6. Death

Not many people who face cancer live to talk about it. I have learned that death is the ultimate leveller of all men.

7. Health

Good health does not come overnight. It is a result of lifelong habits and decisions, such as drinking more water, eating a natural and balanced diet, not smoking or excessively drinking etc. Just as pro athletes and musicians perfect their crafts by regular practice, good health is perfected by a lifetime of making the right choices and sticking to healthier habits. But even the healthiest people have been known to get cancer so maybe the best state of mind is to do the best we can.

So please don’t wait to go through cancer to treasure your life and that of others around you.

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Written by Cathy Ben-Ameh

Illustrated by Francesca Attah