As I was driving home with my housemate not too long ago, the conversation of pubic hair came into discussion. How often do you shave? Do you prefer to shave or leave it? Why do you feel the need to shave? To feel sexier? To please a partner? These are all questions that we had a brief conversation on, and it got me thinking: why do I shave? Do I think I need to shave because my boyfriend will find it more attractive, or do I genuinely feel more confident when I shave? But even if it is the latter, does this confidence come from gender norms that have conditioned me to think I prefer it this way?
There’s a presumption (for the most part) that women should shave and have completely smooth skin. A lot of this comes from the presentation of women in the media. It’s very rare to find a front-page model, actress or singer with her arms in the air and there being hair there. Even my boyfriend has acknowledged that he prefers when I’ve shaved because of what he has seen in the media. But many women are challenging this media representation. For example, Rachel McAdams recently posed for Bustle with her armpit hair on show. However, there is still a lot of stigma around women who choose to not shave their leg, armpit and pubic hair.
There’s still a presumption that women who don’t shave, particularly in their pubic area, are unclean and dirty. But according to experts, shaving is far worse than not. An article in The Guardian found that 59% of women shave for ‘hygiene reasons’; yet, according to professionals, ‘pubic hair was put there to protect your genitalia from friction and infection. It is more hygienic to not shave it…’
Shaving for a sexual partner
Regardless of what professionals might say, the way society has taught us that pubic hair is gross makes it difficult to see this perspective. One encounter I had with a sexual partner created an unhealthy relationship with shaving for me. To cut a long story short, he told me that, because I hadn’t shaved, I looked unkempt and dirty. When I defended myself (should have just called him a dick and deleted his number but I didn’t), I explained I hadn’t shaved because I didn’t think we would have been having sex, to which he responded, ‘well, most girls shave all the time’.
Naturally, this created a negative relationship for me with shaving. I felt like maybe I was the only one who didn’t shave all the time and that I had to be doing it every time I had a shower. It also made me incredibly insecure when sleeping with anyone else; I was nervous to show my pubic area for fear I would have received the same response. Although over time I have come to realise that he was clearly just a dickhead and what he says means nothing, I still have that niggle inside of me that says I need to shave before I see my boyfriend otherwise he won’t find me sexy. The Guardian study actually found that more than 20% of 18-24-year-olds shaved for their partners and to feel sexier for them.
There’s always this narrative that women need to please men. This is also very relevant to shaving. Society has told us that men want a smooth and hairless woman, so we should comply. That it’s unsexy to not shave because you look like you don’t take care of yourself (something my boyfriend has also acknowledged has impacted his view of shaving). Men are conditioned to gender norms in the same way as women, but when it actually comes down to it, most men don’t care whether you’ve shaved or not.
Female empowerment
Many women are now ditching the razors and embracing all of their hair in its full form. An article in Refinery 29 spoke to 10 different women, all of which choose to no longer shave. One woman said she kept her hair as to feel more like a woman, and less childlike. Another said she didn’t want to waste her money on all the shaving/waxing/hair removal options there were just to comply with beauty standards that have been set. These women are choosing to do what makes them feel most comfortable, moving away from what society tells them they should be doing.
There’s a feeling of feminist empowerment that goes alongside the choice to not shave I think. It’s almost like a refusal to listen to what the patriarchy has taught us, and instead a turn to ‘my body, my choice’. Because I want to shave, I can’t help but sometimes wonder if this goes against my feminist stance. I shave because I prefer it; but do I prefer it because I’ve been taught to prefer it? That I should prefer it? I’m not sure it really matters, but it is a question I often think about.
Whether shave or don’t shave, there should not be a right or wrong. We don’t need to flip the coin and deem shaving as negative. What we do need to do is remove the societal pressure that women must shave. Instead, the choice to shave needs to be one’s own. If you want to shave, great. If you don’t, also great.
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Written by Megan Phillips
Illustrated by Francesca Mariama
