Challenging the mixed race experience with a pragmatic approach is a discussion that feels like it’s falling on ‘deaf ears’. Those who identify as mixed race feel like they are circumnavigating in a world that isn’t’ as accepting towards them.
The mixed race identity is the fastest growing ethnic group in its populous and it’s apparent to see that racial integration has somewhat become ‘normalised’ in modern-day Britain. What does ‘belonging’ mean to those who are the in-between? Often seen as racially ambiguous, not fitting the mould to society’s perception of race has been a battle one struggles to maintain strength in.
That acknowledging nod
Mixed race groups often unite in this solid hug. It’s almost like we acknowledge each other with a nod. The ‘I-know-what-you’re-going-through’ nod. Understanding the mixed race experience in a very demanding world where our class, career, family life and personal achievements are constantly judged can eventually put a toll on us. But on top of that, we also have to face the endless prodding and probing of ‘where are you from?’ interrogation. It’s tiresome for us who are trying to belong in a place where we fundamentally know deep down we don’t actually belong there.
I can say in confidence the knowledge of my race and class, without it being appropriated, because I don’t look ‘the obvious’ to those said races and cultures. But can that mean the peers within my said race and class appreciate this without judgement and without thinking ‘she’s just trying to fit in’? It’s so tricky to navigate honestly to one’s ethnicity without it being dissected by those who believe they are the true representation of it because it could be a difference of physical appearances to inflict this way of thinking. It seems too far fetched to think that those who don’t look the way their race is represented can’t actually be part of that race, even though they are, and have to prove double if not triple.
A joke too far to realise?
My race was questioned throughout my education, work life, creative career, relationships as well as my social circle. There were periods in my life where I would find myself socialising more with black people. Not to be accepted or to appropriate their own representation of race, class and culture, it just seemed to have happened that way. I simply had more black friends than white. In these times, I was obviously looking like the ‘white bait’ because I appeared fairer to them. In-house jokes were passed around about my racial identity. It ranged from ‘milky tea’, ‘latte’ or ‘bounty hunter’.
At the time, through my own stupidity and naivety, I really didn’t think anything of it. Looking back now, I squirm at the uncomfortableness of it all. These jokes were made by people I considered to be friends and lovers. I couldn’t quite grasp why a group of people who are often marginalised by the arms of the establishment would want to pick out these senseless nicknames for me. Was it because they knew I couldn’t retaliate with language (not that I wouldn’t regardless) that might put me in the ‘you’re a racist’ spotlight? Or did they call me these names because they knew that mixed race people often face the exact same marginalisation as well?
Are looks really that important?
I can understand why those that come from ethnic groups, that are often ostracised, would feel I have it easy because of my physical appearance. But just because I have a mixed heritage doesn’t make me better than anyone else. Being ‘light skinned’ in society does have its benefits, there’s no question about that. And in some cases, it’s played a favour to the path I’m on. But I am a mixed race person who isn’t fitting into the either or category. From the eyes of society, a black or even Asian person would be higher than me on the race ladder. Even though they too will face agendas and labels of their own.
I don’t appropriate cultures I’m a part of, I appreciate them and learn from them. I’m so glad many of us from mixed heritage backgrounds, black backgrounds and so on and so forth, are having the confidence and the tools to take up space in society. Too often have these spaces been heavily covered with CIS white heteronormatives. But now, people such as myself are snatching the megaphone and shouting ‘enough is enough, you need to listen to us!’ Marginalisation can only last for so long and I can only dream of what it would feel like if white backgrounds were to ever become ostracised because of their race, class or identity. Sometimes, white people really have it all too lucky.
Time to make others uncomfortable
The fundamental point to make here is that mixed race people often need society to listen to them in the same way they are listening (or trying to listen) to black people, Asian people and so on. Once this happens, then maybe belonging can take place.
A thorough teaching of the history of race is vitally important within society especially for those who are mixed race. If this type of teaching exists daily in our lifestyles and isn’t swept under the carpet by the establishment, the attitude towards race and racial integration would have changed a long time ago.
Race will always be a schizophrenic issue and the only way to dismantle the idea that white is the ‘ruler’ or the ‘leader’ is to ensure that racial education is taught from all perspectives. We first listen to our parents then we listen to our teachers. We then listen to our social circles and take bite-size pieces to formulate our own idea of race for what it was, what it is now and for what it will become. It will anger us, it will make us rage, it will make others uncomfortable but this is the cycle and has been for as long as we can remember.
It’s okay to push the discussion and debate of race for those who come from marginalised backgrounds to the top of society’s mouth. Maybe then, belonging could finally belong to us.
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Written by Jade Moira Lawrence
Illustrated by Francesca Mariama
