Are you struggling with a breakup? Unfortunately, relationships don’t always have a fairy tale ending and we sometimes get caught up thinking we’ve found the one when in fact, things can take a turn for the worst. I’ve dealt with a few breakups in the past and trust me, it wasn’t easy. I felt like all my happiness was stripped away and I was left with nothing. Sounds dramatic, I know, but that’s just how I felt.
When you go from spending the majority of your time with someone to not being with them at all, it’s going to have a huge effect on your state of mind. You may have ongoing dreams of that person and wake up feeling distraught or be surrounded by things that remind you of them that flood your brain with all the good memories you once shared. I’m sure we’ve all experienced this at some point, it’s natural, but girl it’s time to move onto bigger and better things!
I’m going to take you through the best ways to get over a breakup so you can come out stronger than ever!
One of the best ways to get over a breakup? Cull your social media
First things first, remove your ex from all your socials! I know it may be hard especially if you still haven’t fully accepted the breakup but this is a crucial step. If not, you’ll find yourself stalking their profiles, checking up on what they’re doing and who they’re doing it with. I’ve been there, done that and it did me no good.
I used to post selfies and upload them onto Instagram and Snapchat with the hopes that they would see my post. Yes, I went through that crazy stage but my point is that it didn’t make me feel any better! You need to remove them completely so there’s no attachment and they can’t contact you. Let’s skip the stage of the indirect posts and get straight to detaching and blocking. So if you haven’t already done so, do it now!
Talk to others
When going through a breakup, you’ll most likely feel alone and want to lock yourself in a room and let your emotions loose. Don’t pressure yourself to get through this alone. Turn to close friends or family who will be there for you. Sometimes you need to hear comforting words from others, but then again, there is only so much your loved ones can do. So if you feel like it’s necessary for you, go to a therapist. Every breakup is different and everyone handles things differently so never compare yourself to others and think “I’m sure that person didn’t have therapy after their breakup.” OK, cool… so what? Do what works best for you!
A great way to deal with a breakup is to take your time – don’t rush onto someone else
Now, I can’t stress this one enough – take your time with the process. There is no quick fix to get over a breakup, so you need to accept that it’s going to take time to move on. You may be at a club having fun and spot someone smiling at you. Now, wait a minute! If it’s still early on in your breakup the last thing you want is a rebound. Some say it helps them but I truly feel it’s not the right way to go. Instead, give that person in the club a smile and keep it moving because now is the time to reflect and think deeply as to what you actually want. Take time to look at your current situation in life and what you desire to achieve. It’s all about you now! Embrace this moment.
Don’t be afraid to feel emotions
Let it out girl, let it out! Be angry, be upset and if you need to cry, release those tears. Bottling it up won’t help you, whereas crying releases toxins and relieves stress. Be real with yourself that it’s going to be a difficult process and accept that the breakup has happened. Once you’ve done this, you’ll be able to get through the process much easier. Don’t get me wrong though, you’ll go through highs and lows. One minute you’ll think you’re over it because you’ve had a good day but the next you could find yourself balling your eyes out. And that’s completely fine! It’s the process and there’s no way to ignore it.
Be the best you, you can be
So, as I said, it’s time for you! Do the things that you enjoyed before being in a relationship or find new hobbies and be the beautiful person you are. You may think it’s easier said than done, but you can do this! What’s your passion? What are your talents? Why not set yourself a goal and work towards it? Go out and pamper yourself. Get your hair and nails done, and glow up! Remember this is not to make your ex jealous, this is all for you and your growth!
Don’t look back, keep going
You’re doing well and you’re getting through this. Don’t put a timeline on when you feel you should be over your ex otherwise that’s extra pressure you don’t need. There is no set time, every situation is different and some people may take longer than others. For me, one of my breakups took me two to three months to get over and another took far longer. So, it really depends on you and how you choose to deal with it. If your ex pops up with an ‘I miss you’ message and you respond, you’re setting yourself back to the start and the process starts all over again. So don’t do that to yourself, be strong and ignore!
Remember, breakups are a process and you’ll go through highs and lows but eventually you’ll get over your ex and be your happy self again. When I was going through my breakup I thought I’d never get over my ex, but now I couldn’t be happier. I’ve learnt a lot about myself and grown stronger. Not every bad situation has to have a bad impact. These best ways to get over a breakup will help you to get through this. You got this gurl!
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Written by Francesca Mariama
Illustrated by Francesca Mariama
