When I was reading Lana Del Rey’s statement on criticism of the content of her music, the first issue that came to mind was not race but how the wider public refuses to recognise the darker, more glamorous side of abuse that compels women to remain in relationships with toxic and abusive men.
When race became the primary issue talked about following Del Rey’s statement, I was baffled. In the statement, she specifically refers to how struggles discussed in her music are perceived vis a vis several leading female artists, most of whom are women of colour.
It should not be a surprise that most of the artists that Del Rey named were black women, as several black women are amongst the most commercially successful artists of the last decade. Not just the women that Del Rey mentioned, but also Rihanna, Mariah Carey, Alicia Keys, Shontelle, Keri Hilson, Jennifer Hudson and multiple others.
Del Rey even said in an Instagram comment that she chose these names as they are her favourite artists. She probably wasn’t even thinking about their racial backgrounds. I wasn’t when I, a woman of colour, read her statement; I simply recognised that she’d listed several successful female artists and read on.
Del Rey has challenged racial stereotypes on several occasions
The idea that Del Rey is a racist is unfounded. She has challenged racial stereotypes on several occasions. Most notably by casting successful black artist A$AP Rocky as the John F. Kennedy to her Jackie O in the music video for her single National Anthem (my favourite music video ever, might I add). By choosing a black man to portray a famous white politician in a single from her first album, Del Rey was demonstrating a desire to break down racial perceptions very early on in her career.
She has also maintained collaborations with several black artists including A$AP Rocky and The Weeknd, the latter of whom even referred to her as the “Stargirl” to his “Starboy” on his eponymous debut album. She’s donating the proceeds of her upcoming poetry books to Native American foundations. Lana Del Rey is, fundamentally, not a racist. In her statement, she was talking about the perception of her music against several other major artists. They also sing about controversial subjects but don’t tend to attract criticism for the content of their songs.
If she was talking about personal struggles then yes, she would be dismissing the struggles that most of these women face as women of colour. Yet here she was talking about musical themes, so her listing of several successful artists who are mostly women of colour was more naïve than racist. The spotlight on this naïveté also detracts from the actual subject of her statement – the content of her own music – which has gotten lost in the torrent of abuse over its first line.
The glamorous side of abuse
The content of Del Rey’s songs includes references to the glamorous side of abuse, an undeniably uncomfortable subject that many people gloss over. But this glamour is a reality for so many women under the coercive control of abusive men. Indeed, Del Rey’s sophomore album, Ultraviolence, appears to be an ode to a married, older, abusive wealthy man who manipulated her under his control. The lyrics in its title song, “he hit me but it felt like true love/Jim taught me that/loving him was never enough” exemplify the extent of control that Del Rey, is under.
This feeling is a reality for several women in abusive relationships, who have been subject to such a great extent of their partner’s manipulation that they start to believe that the abuse comes from a place of love. According to research from the Institute for Family Studies, the belief that abuse comes from a place of love is a key reason why so many women stay in abusive relationships.
In her statement, Del Rey described this issue as one that “women are finally allowed to explore” and this, for me, was the most important part of the statement. For too long, the stories of abuse victims have focused on their liberation from their partner’s control, rather than their feelings within the abusive relationship itself. These feelings need to be discussed further to help educate the wider public about why abusers hold such power, and why victims find it hard to leave them. Music is one of the best mediums to express feelings around particular issues, so Del Rey’s songs about abuse should be publicised, not criticised.
Feminism is more than the ‘strong’ empowered woman
In her response to the criticism of her original post on Instagram, Del Rey affirmed her view that the voices of “delicate”, submissive women are being dismissed within third-wave feminism, which promotes “strong, empowered” women. Of course, it is great to encourage women to become strong and exert power and influence over men after centuries of oppression. However, the role of the “strong, self-assured woman” can also become anti-feminist if taken too far.
This is best exemplified in Ariana Grande’s 2019 single, Break Up with Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored. Here, Grande sings about her sexuality, confidence and celebrity status to tempt a man away from his girlfriend. This is an anti-feminist narrative in the sense that Grande is tearing down another woman to get what she wants (which is, in this case, a man), but is also a feminist narrative as Grande’s feeling empowered to do what she wants to do.
I don’t remember seeing much criticism of Grande’s treatment of other women when this song was released but remember seeing much praise for Grande’s self-assured lyrics. The song even reached Number 1 on the UK Singles Chart and Number 2 on the US Billboard Hot 100. If songs like this can achieve mainstream success with critical acclaim and minimal criticism, what is it about Del Rey’s songs about meek, submissive women who idolise men that garner so much criticism?
Submission and feminism are not mutually exclusive
Much of this comes from the common failure of third-wave feminists to acknowledge the perspectives of “meek” women, who tend to be dismissed as allies of toxic masculinity. Women who voluntarily submit themselves to men are now seen as opposing the new feminist narrative – a perspective that’s incredibly problematic in itself. Although the issue of abuse in Del Rey’s songs is something that should be acknowledged but not replicated, the issue of “submissive women” is not quite the same.
Feminism as an idea is about empowering women to make their own choices. A lot of the time this entails women choosing to do what they want to do, regardless of what a man thinks. Yet several feminists today fail to acknowledge that some feminist women may want to submit themselves to men voluntarily – just like some men may want to submit themselves to women. We should ensure all women are supporting each other, not tearing one another down.
Submission and feminism are not mutually exclusive, as long as the submissive is making the choice to submit of their own free will and is not being coerced by their partner. This is at the core of Del Rey’s perspective. Although Del Rey herself has admitted that she isn’t a feminist, she acknowledged that her statement links to feminist arguments. She’s saying that it’s great that those female artists she mentioned are propelling several dominant narratives like owning their sexuality and advocating cheating without criticism, so, as quoted “there has to be a kind of place in feminism for women who look and act like [her]”.
Read the statement. Listen to what Del Rey is saying. Because the real issue that was it expressing has been completely dismissed once more.
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Written by Sarina Kiayani
Illustrated by Francesca Mariama
