So, you did it! You organised a group trip and got everyone there in one piece. Now you can just sit back and rela-
Wait. Why are Aile and Britt yelling at each other? And when did Christine get that weird rash on her face? Were those the last of the crisps that Dijana just shoved in her mouth? And where the hell did Esmae and Felicia disappear to?
Alas, the potential for drama lurks around every corner even once you’ve made it to your destination. In this final part of my drama-free group trip guide, I will cover some strategies for stopping said drama before any harm is done.
I will then share my coping methods for when this doesn’t work out!
Keeping the peace
On most trips ‘keeping the peace’ is all that’s needed. Planned well, with a group of like-minded friends, holidays should be a breeze. There will, however, be friction points. Being aware of those in advance can help in preparing some solutions.
Money and food tend to be the most contentious issues on group trips. With money, using an app like Splid or Splitwise to keep track of group spending can help a lot. Having a clear record of who owes who what makes financial discussions far less fraught! Food can also be tricky, which is why pre-holiday discussions of eating out vs. in are essential. I’m also a big believer in eating at least one meal a day together, as, to me, that is part of being companionable on holiday. Still, it comes down to personal preference – just have a conversation so everyone’s on the same page.
Petty issues can arise just because you are all in each other’s space far more than usual. You can end up quietly hating everyone and even questioning your friendships. If you feel yourself getting frustrated, take a step back. Ask yourself whether whatever has happened would annoy you at a one-off meet-up back home. If the answer is no, it’s probably not worth spending your holiday miserable. Take a breath, spend some time with other group members (or by yourself) while you calm down and move on. Occasionally someone might really overstep, in which case absolutely say something. Just remember that the holiday will not last forever – consider whether the issue is worth raising before you do.
Bottom line – be as easy-going as you reasonably can. If everyone does this, you’re golden!
Expect the unexpected
Sh*t happens, okay? What’s important is how you deal with it when it does.
Illness and injury can still happen when you’re on holiday (unfortunately) and can really put a spanner in the works. Always take a first aid kit with you – plasters, antiseptic wipes/spray, hydrocortisone, antihistamines, travel sickness tablets, allergy pills etc. Sometimes this will not be enough. If you are travelling abroad, familiarise yourself with the medical system of the place(s) you are visiting. Consider taking out travel insurance for longer trips (trust me, it’s worth it if something serious happens). And if someone is in a bad way and needs to leave, use those planning skills to make it happen!
In all likelihood, the most serious health issue you will face is a bad reaction to an insect bite. Just keep your cool if something does happen. And be patient with anyone who gets sick and needs a bit of TLC. That said, if someone does need looking after, try and share that responsibility as a group. It’s unfair for one person to end up stuck as a designated carer for the whole trip.
It’s not just health problems that can take you by surprise. Weather is always a risk and you might need to rethink your plans on the fly. Belongings can wander, sometimes disappearing off the face of the earth. You may inadvertently break a minor law and have to pay an unexpected fine – definitely not talking from personal experience…
The point is not to freak out if something does go wrong. There are very few problems that mean the end of the world (or holiday). There will always be both indoor and outdoor activities. As long as you have your phone, wallet, keys and passport/ID, everything else is replaceable if necessary. And obviously, try to not break any laws! But, if that does happen, accept it as an amusing anecdote and carry one! Rolling with the punches is my holiday philosophy.
Just survive!
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, there is no salvaging a holiday. This last section is for the truly terminal cases, where all you can do is hold out until you finally, finally get home and can begin repressing those memories.
Now, a trip spent in abject misery is a very rare occurrence. I have only ever experienced this once, and it was so bad that I vowed never to travel with that group again. Still not over it, I then decided to write a series of articles on how to plan a successful group trip (so I guess something good/mildly entertaining came out of it?).
What do you do when all you want to do is leave? Well, first I want to establish that if your travel ‘friends’ are stepping way over the line (sadly, it does happen) then, if you can, just go. It is not ever worth staying in a toxic environment, least of all when you are supposed to be on holiday! I appreciate that this is not always an option, however. If you can’t leave, for either practical reasons or because your companions are just being really annoying rather than outright cruel, then here’s what you can do to make things tolerable.
Remain cordial
If you are committed to getting through the rest of this trip, you don’t want to cause more tension. Grit your teeth and remember that there will be an end. If there is something you feel you need to air, then you can, particularly if you are less conflict-averse than me! But if you just want the trip to be over, it is easier to get through if you grin and bear it.
Create alone time
Feeling like the last thing you want is to interact with any of your friends at this point? Oh no, is that an illness/period/important phone call/work thing/family drama that you suddenly need to deal with for a few hours alone at a café/park/museum/bar/restaurant/beach/your room? What a shame.
Phone a friend
Okay, it gets a bad rep but sometimes you just need to vent those feelings in a good old-fashioned b*tch session! Make sure there is no possible way for your trip-mates to overhear, phone a friend who does not know them and go to town. Seriously, enjoy it. It will help you feel so much less murderous when you return!
Find the fun
So the friend situation may suck, but try to remember you’re still on holiday. You came here to enjoy yourself, so do it! Go do what you want to do and screw the rest of them. You never know, someone may want to join you, and might even be not-annoying company…
Being miserable on holiday sucks. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. That said, despite the week that inspired this series is one of the most frustrating of my life, I am still friends with the people I went away with. A sucky trip does not have to break a friendship. Learn from it, move past it and maybe go away with some different friends next time!
Final tips
For one last time, I have mined the travel experiences of friends and family to bring you the very best advice on how to deal with drama when you’re actually on your holiday. Here’s what they came up with:
- Be aware of everyone’s ‘get ready’ times when heading out:
- If you need to get somewhere for a certain time be really clear with everyone about what time you absolutely have to leave by.
- If it’s a more casual day, but you’re waiting on people to sort themselves out, either go do something yourself (or with whoever is ready to go) and arrange to meet up with the others later, or embrace the relaxation and entertain yourself until everyone’s ready to leave.
- Do have some kind of plan for each day – even if that plan is to relax by the pool, eat and then relax by the beach. There is nothing worse than a group listlessly drifting around not knowing what to do – it’s actually really boring
- If the group is splitting up to do different things, make sure that everyone communicates what’s happening and when (even if you’re ‘just surviving’, let people know that you’re going out and roughly when you’ll be back – just in case something happens).
- Even when you are doing different things, arrange a time every day to all spend time as a group – otherwise what was the point in going away together?
Well, that’s it, folks! Hopefully, this article series has been useful and you can now enjoy going away with your friends, safe in the knowledge that you know exactly what to do if it starts going tits up. Now all this holiday discussion has got my planning fingers twitching so if you’ll excuse me, I have a trip to organise!
How to have a drama-free group trip: Part one – The plan
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Written by Kirsten Rowland
Illustrated by Francesca Mariama
