How to have a drama-free group trip: Part one - The plan

The cost of living is skyrocketing. Parliament is imploding. The job market is a competitive anxiety vortex. We are all in dire need of a vacation! And who better to spend it with than your favourite people?

Holidaying with friends seems like a great idea – I mean, we’ve all seen the films! But this dream of freedom and fun can easily turn into a complete nightmare without some careful steering.

There is more than enough to stress about in the world without adding holidays to the list. Worry not! For I have prepared this little series to help you achieve that dream vacation without the drama. In this article, we’ll explore the step that will lay the foundations for everything else – the plan.

One of the most exciting parts of planning a holiday is deciding where to head. Hiking in The Rockies? Partying in Thailand? Lounging on the French Riviera? Or maybe something a little closer to home? Whatever you decide, some important factors should play a role in the final decision.

So, why are we going?

Is there a specific agenda for the trip – have you always wanted to go to a specific place? Is there something you want to experience/do? – or are you just travelling to have a fun time together? If the former, every other aspect of planning should revolve around making sure that (whatever that is) happens. If the latter, then go for it with the rapid-fire spit-balling! This can be fun, but overwhelming if there are lots of conflicting ideas. Keep it friendly, and use the other factors to help narrow it down.

No, but seriously, what’s the plan?

Often overlooked – but vital to a successful group trip – is agreeing on the type of holiday you all want. It’s no fun to arrive and find out no one wants to join you on the beach!

Semi-joking aside, it’s a good idea to establish beforehand what you, broadly, want from this trip. Relaxation? Culture? Nights out? Outdoor activities? This isn’t setting your trip itinerary in stone. It’s easy to combine ideas and you don’t all have to take part in every holiday activity once you’re there. It’s just a good idea to get everyone on the same page about what to expect (particularly if you have never holidayed together before – everyone has their expectations!).

When, and how, is this happening?

How to have a drama-free group trip: Part 1 – The plan

As exciting as holiday planning is, at some point, there needs to be a logistical reality check (boring, but incredibly necessary!) Two important things to agree on are trip length and trip budget.

If this is an agenda trip, you’ll have an idea going into it roughly how much you’ll be spending – climbing Sydney Harbour Bridge looks a little financially different to having a Guinness in Dublin, after all. Discussion should be on surrounding expenses – accommodation, transport and food are the most important. Keep things realistic by researching local prices and making sure everyone understands what they are committing to by agreeing to go.

The budget is a bit of a sticky subject in a less-defined trip, as this is where you will almost certainly have to make some compromises. Prioritise the person with the lowest available budget – you can go on that more luxurious trip another time with different friends! Base the financial planning around them, using the same guidelines as above, and you should come out with a plan that everyone can enjoy.

Something that can help with this is deciding when you will go and for how long. The friend who can’t commit to a week in Marbella in August might be able to do a weekend in Barcelona in March. Avoid school holidays, book far in advance so you have a wider selection of cheaper options and be open to trimming some days of the original plan to accommodate a lower budget.

Where are my girls at?

The final thing to establish before serious holiday planning commences is which of your friends are going – crucially, how many!

This can change but try and establish who is definitely going as you need to know numbers to start booking things. Depending on the context, you may be able to cater for the ‘maybes’. I generally try and agree on a deadline for accommodation to be booked, so anyone who finds they can go before then can be (ahem) accommodated. If there are people who find they can come after this, there is an understanding that they will have to sort themselves out if they want to join (it’s really not that deep, they may just have to be in the next hotel over, or not share a room with someone!)

When #tripsquad has been established, it’s a good idea to take private stock of the group dynamic (who will be stressed if they don’t have a schedule, who will be stressed if they feel trapped by a schedule, who will get cranky without regular feeding, etc.) Obviously, you love your friends, but holidaying is a lot of concentrated time with them. Unless you are travelling with people you’ve lived with, there are bound to be a few surprises! Walk into the trip with a positive but realistic idea of how things will be when you are in each other’s company for an extended time.

Learn from our mistakes

I asked my friends what their top tips would be for the early stages of planning a holiday. In no particular order, this is what we came up with:

Planning where to go can very easily lead to a dictator-trip if a dominant personality is involved – make sure you (and the rest of the group) truly want to go on the proposed vacation before agreeing!
If this is primarily a ‘friends’ trip, be firm about significant others staying at home – obviously, this depends on the group dynamic, but there are few things more tedious than being the single friend on a couples trip (it can also mean missing out on valuable friend time if you are focussed on your partner – they will get their turn!)
Set up a holiday-specific group chat so that ideas can be shared more easily and thoughts/agreements can be recorded (and anyone unable to go is not bored to tears by endless holiday jabber!)
Speak up if you are not happy BUT be prepared to come up with an alternative proposal – this is much more constructive and makes you a not-irritating friend!
Wherever the ‘discussion’ leads, remember that you are actually friends and want to go away together!
Invite people even if you know they won’t come – better to allow them to say no than have them feel excluded (and they may surprise you with a ‘yes’!)
If you say you “don’t mind”, you need to actually not mind – it is so frustrating if someone says they’re happy with “whatever”, then makes things more complicated by saying their honest opinion way after the fact when the booking has happened/is in progress!