Being in your late teens or mid to late twenties can sometimes feel like a race with your peers. From about eighteen, there’s a sense that you need to reach milestones by certain ages, such as completing a degree, starting a career or moving out of your family home. Another big milestone for a lot of people is finding your Mr or Mrs Right.
There is no rush and it’s better to go with the flow and allow things to happen when they happen! However, in the age of social media where so many are showing off their picture-perfect long-term relationships, the race to find a romantic partner seems ever more prevalent.
In a world so focused online, resulting in many of us swiping through online dating apps and struggling to create meaningful connections, how on earth are you supposed to meet someone in real life?
Check out local events
Speed dating or singles parties are a great way to meet people in person. Although speed dating is organised, it can feel more organic than skimming through dating apps where more often than not, you’re dealing with people who are looking for something completely different. They are ideal as everyone there is searching for a relationship, so you won’t feel out of place. They can also make a welcomed change from the often tedious task of scouring through dating sites.
Try and go in with an open mind, you may or may not meet someone the first time around, but it’ll be a good way to build some confidence either way! Remember that eye contact is key in developing romantic attraction, so try to exchange gazes with those you’re interested in. Hopefully, you’ll leave with a good match ready for your next date.
Join a new class
If you’re hoping for someone you share a common interest with, you could try classes and local interest groups. Yoga, the gym or even an art class are all great ways to meet men and women. This also has the added bonus of giving you and the person you meet plenty to talk about.
Ask your friends to help out
Consider asking a friend that knows you well to play matchmaker by setting up a blind or double date. They might know the perfect person for you. It helps to give your friend an idea of what you’re looking for so it’s not a total mismatch. Making a list could be helpful: must love animals, must be ambitious etc.
It’s also good to have a romantically experienced friend on hand that can act as a dating coach to offer tips. Maybe even go on a pretend date with them to get some practice on what to talk about.
Check out ‘Meetup’
Another way to go is to scope out local Meetup groups. Meetup is a site that gives you the chance to meet new people face-to-face in your area. You can check out the many categories available ranging from age group to special interests such as writing, cooking, TV and film. You can get groups specifically for singles as well as just meeting friends if you’re more interested in platonic relationships.
Put yourself out there
Remember to be bold. You know that cute guy who works at your favourite coffee shop? Or the hottie you often see in the vegan aisle at the grocery store? Strike up a conversation with them! You never know where it might lead. It can be extremely daunting to chat with strangers, but you’ll feel very empowered when you do. If you spot someone reading a book you like or wearing a T-shirt of your favourite band, these are perfect opportunities for small talk which might just lead to a full-on conversation.
Ever find yourself thinking about your crush from school or someone you were friendly with at an old workplace? Organically meeting people in real life can be a hard and daunting task so sometimes it helps to look back at previous love interests you’ve lost touch with. Why not get in contact with them and see what they’ve been up to? You might find that you still have a bit of a spark to explore.
Be prepared that things might have changed a lot. They may have found their soulmate or you might find you’re now on different paths and there is less of a connection. It’s best to go with the flow and just see where it goes. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. The right person will come along when they’re supposed to.
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Written by Eliza Allen
Illustrated by Francesca Mariama
