It has taken 25 years for me to proudly say “I love my afro hair”. My hair now means so much to me. My afro is my crown. I stand proud of expressing myself through my hair. Each hairstyle represents a different aspect of who I am, and what I believe in. There’s confidence in knowing I’m standing up for my culture and heritage.
This hasn’t always been the case. I live in a predominantly white area. This meant the people and hair around me was not like mine. My hair made me stand out. My mum, a hairdresser for European hair, always made my hair look fabulous. In the first phase of my life, my hair always did look amazing, until I wanted to take control. That’s where my hair started to break, become dry and look out of control. I never looked good.
Hair is a journey
In primary school, I longed to be the girl whose hair went swish, swish, swish, from left to right in a ponytail.
In high school, I straightened my fringe that much, my fringe snapped off. I wanted to fit in with my friends.
Similarly, in college, I let my afro out, but it was really heat damaged.
I don’t think I ever was content with my hair.
But my hair journey has massively improved for the better. In 2020, COVID-19 brought the world to its knees. If lockdown hadn’t happened, I don’t think I would have ever truly had the chance to love my afro and start my natural hair journey. For that reason alone, I thank lockdown for giving me time and space to explore and find self-acceptance.
I wanted to hide from the world when my hair was a mess. And it seems like a lot of people don’t feel far off. Did you know that having a bad hair day can affect your overall mood, increasing levels of self-doubt and personal criticism? Your thoughts and behaviours contribute to 40% of your happiness. So making a conscious effort with your appearance can help you to feel happier within yourself, giving you a temporary dose of oxytocin. When you feel good, you do good.
Halo Code
Picture this; you’re eight years old, styling your hair in the mirror, getting ready for school. Happiness arises. You can’t wait to show all your friends. You feel ready to take on the world. In the same breath, only to be sent home for having an ‘inappropriate hairstyle’. In other words, having afro-textured hair doesn’t belong here.
This is shocking. It’s upsetting and it’s telling someone with afro hair they can’t be who they are. That they need to blend in. 58% of Black students experienced name-calling or uncomfortable questions about their hair at school but the Halo Code are fighting this. The Halo Code is a campaign pledge, in the UK, to ensure people with afro hair are allowed to wear their hair with freedom, ‘without restrictions or judgement’.
“Do you sleep with pillows?”
From as young as I can remember, I’ve always had the most bizarre questions about my hair. We’re all on this planet to learn and explore, however, please think before you ask to touch or make an outlandish remark. Speaking to my friends about uncomfortable situations in regards to our hair, number one on the list is the awkwardness of people touching our hair without permission.
Countless times this has happened in school, in a club or at a workplace. Not only do I not see this happen to people with European hair, I feel as if my personal space has been invaded. Through growth and education, I adore my afro hair. It’s more than just a hairstyle. It’s embedded with history and culture.
Although we’re seeing a lot more positive representation of Black hair, let’s not forget that not long ago, 4C hair was deemed as ‘bad hair’, while straight, looser hair was seen as ‘good hair’. Thanks to World Afro Day and the Black Natural Hair Movement, we’re rebuking the negativity and insulting words instilled in the Black and mixed community. The self-love and self-acceptance I’ve witnessed within my Black and Brown friends over the last year is immense. I’m proud of every single person who is learning, attempting or shaking off the shackles and embracing who they are.
At 26 years old, I’m thankful that I’ve fallen in love with my hair. I’m at peace that I may stand out or I look different. The time and effort are worth feeling positive about my hair. The amount of money I spend on products for my afro is OK. Most of all, I thank myself for letting go of the fears I had around my hair. It may be big, fluffy and very noticeable but that’s something that I’ve become proud and confident about.
Remember, Black hair is beautiful. Versatility is outstanding. No one else can quite switch it up like we can. Finally, if you see me with an afro one day, braids another day and with a wig the next day, mind yo’ business.
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Written by Patsy Goodwin
Illustrated by Francesca Mariama
I relate to this article so much! I’m glad I went through the journey I did with my afro because I’ve developed such a love and appreciation for it that I didn’t have before.